Finding Balance

“It’s all about Balance” is a phrase my mother has touted ever since I could remember. But I feel like that is something that’s easier said than done. Whether it’s finding a balance in exercising or eating healthy, sometimes you just need a little break. Having a type-A personality coupled with anxiety, it is a constant struggle for me to find balance. In my case, it’s mostly balance between work and rest or work and play because I’ve also learned you need play as much as rest.

So how does one find balance in a society that praises the hustle and, more accurately, seems to demand it? Sometimes, working a side-gig on top of you 9-5 job is essential; the economy sucks, things break, new bills pop up, whatever the reason. But your body keeps score, and constant stress coupled with lack of rest will always catch up with you in one way or the other.

So, I guess my answer is you have to do what feels right for you. The last few months, I have been pushing it. And I know I can get in such a routine, it soon becomes normal. I’ve been working 6-7 days a week and taking an online class. Last week, I started feeling it catch up to me. I was exhausted and started to feel overwhelmed by the fact that I was so exhausted, but still had my regular job to work and then 3 promos, babysitting and studying for and completing my final exam all over the weekend. I had to take a step back. Ultimately, I had a super busy Friday and Saturday that couldn’t be changed, but Sunday, I had more flexibility. I took blogging off my plate for Sunday, just to help that overwhelming feeling. I spent Sunday making flashcards and studying and then completing my final exam with a 97.3%. It felt so good to get that off my plate. Now, I wouldn’t exactly call that resting, but it was what I needed to do. And I knew that was all I could do that day. So, it helped just being able to be on my own schedule and not rush around that day.

This weekend, I didn’t have a lot going on, and since “being productive” is something that is at the core of my being, I was like “Well, I’ll take this weekend to apply to jobs.” I was very tired last week, so I purposely did not schedule very many promos and said “no” to last minute ones that popped up. Friday, I finished working, then my best friend and I found a new coffee shop to try and went shopping. Catching up with her is always a little bit of therapy for me, so our almost 4-hour coffee/shopping date was very much welcomed (for both of us I believe). I knew I needed that and she did too. Once I got home, it was still pretty early, but I was ready to be done;  so no job applications were completed.

Yesterday, I had a slower morning, then a short promo in the afternoon. I came home to eat lunch and start applying. I ate lunch, applied for maybe 2 things, and then after aimlessly scrolling Facebook for 1.5 hour as a distraction, I realized I didn’t have it in me to do any more and so I took a shower and went to bed. Today, I’ve done maybe 4 applications, I’ve taken a walk, made a healthy lunch, actually went to church but I’m still pretty exhausted and just turned down another last minute promo.

As I’m sitting here typing this, with a face mask on and sipping my 3^rd cup of coffee, I’m reminded that at the beginning of the year, I did one of those “New Years Bingo” trends that was circulating social media. Basically, instead of resolutions, that you tend to stop once you mess up, these are more along the lines of goals and things to accomplish. As I look at mine, pinned to the cork board at my desk, I do realize certain themes: slowing down, more experiences and bettering myself. So rest and play basically. Although I’ve only completed a few more job applications today, and the fact that it’s only 4 o’clock :p I’m questioning whether it’s too early to go to bed. I’m not going to lie,  I wish I would have been able to accomplish more this weekend, but I needed the rest. I needed the quality time with friends. I needed to slow down just a bit. I’m still pretty exhausted, but months of running yourself ragged is not going to be fixed within a weekend of two. I say this as a reminder to you and also myself. Take some time for you today, your body will thank you!

Much love <3

Brittney